From: Timothy Rue 
Date: Wed, 11 Jun 97 13:10:00
Organization: MindSpring Enterprises

* It is now Tuesday the 10th of June, in my efforts to write this out***

This is the forth part. Take Heart not to make any judgements but put
Heart into any actions you may take based on this first part. For those
who have the ability to translate this into other languages, please do so,
for this IS for everyone.

 Copyright 1997 - Timothy Rue

-----------------------
Putting IT ALL Together
-----------------------

This is the part where I tell you all that I'm no saviour, that I'm human,
what my fault is that proves I'm human. For those of you who are set on
discrediting me, you'll want to pay close attention, for it is here where
you'll find the ammo you've been looking for, the information you can
judge, twist, manipulate, distort and even deny in all sorts of way to try
and accomplish your objectives. You can even build it all up into an
illusion that I'm some sort of evil, simply because in the power of your
mind, your imagination, you can. It's your choice.

For some reason Disney insist on coming out in my writing this part. The
Dream Factory where the Imagineers (Imagination Engineers) work. In
developing ideas, it's the ideas that are way out there that capture the
most attention for development consideration. Once they let reality set in
as to what is realisticly possible, they then proceed to turn it into
reality. Wow, what a concept! Add to this that Disney uses Amigas, though
they don't buy them as computers (due a contract with another company) but
buys them as device controllers.

Picking up where I left off on my last post:

In the evolution of computers, BASIC became a major programming language
in both education and application, but it was discovered there needed
to be a level of structure applied. Otherwise the code became hard to
follow and maintain. Structure is the key word here but the concept of
structure is far from being new. Other concepts have as well evolved in
the field of programming like object oriented programming and the current
concept of component programming. But in all of this, the objective is to
establish a structure of organization that is understood, mapped and
easily followed.

Organization structure, wow what a concept. Could this have anything to do
with moving the imagination creations into reality?

Last night I was looking, searching the internet, to verify something I
seemed to recall about Jay Miner. I never could verify it but did find
information that hinted to the possibility it might be true. Maybe I'm
just thinking of someone else, but didn't Jay Miner help invent a heart
pacer? The search I applied only reminded me of what I had told Skal at
the airport. The internet, it's flat, a 2D plane of information in which
you can apply a search but it doesn't mean you go thru all 825679
references looking for a piece of information. Perhaps I just don't know
how to use the search engines I tried. Maybe I should do a search on
search engines.

Somehow I don't think Jay applied this 2D perspective in his work on the
Amiga. Especially considering Jay did get help from Mitchy. For those of
you in doubt of this reality of a dog helping to create the Amiga, you
should look into how dogs are tested for their ability to sence the on
comming epileptic attack on an individual. Warning the individual in plenty
of time to safely prepare for what is going to happen. Not all dogs can do
this and breed has little to do with it. And there are other animals who
help people as well. Dolphins have been research alot and are even used to
help releave pain of individuals who have no other relief available. It
really is all quite remarkable.

What I'm getting at is that the internet is currently a two dimensional
plain. Black and white, no real spectrum to it. No height, depth or width.
Just a flat surface. There really is a limitation to it's ability to act
as a communication media. Skal had asked Lamar about me, wondering if I
was as hard in person as I appear on the internet. And that's the
limitation of the internet. You don't know what people are really like by
viewing their communication on the internet.

In all that I've written about in these posts, as well as all my past
internet based efforts, there is a spectrum of perceptions about me and
what I'm about. There are those who see and understand my efforts and
those who don't. Certainly many must realize there are many who never
respond in any way but do read with interest. On the other side of this
there is my perspective of the communication effort of others.

The truth be known, I didn't know Petro was coming to Atlanta until Lamar
told me. And although there were all these things evolving that seemed to
put me into a unique position, perhaps it was I who failed.

The common item of which Skal and Petro both mentioned to me, and one that
I too felt is animosity in the Amiga community.

Well, when I heard this from Petro, I honestly thought to myself, well
that's just what it is today, it'll be something else tomorrow. You see I
knew this animosity started twenty two years ago. Before many of us ever
got into computers. It's been breed into the industry to such a degree
intentional moves in the game today are made by companies knowing the
result is to effectively beat the legal system.

Actually I didn't put it all together until talking with Petro, I knew
something was wrong, simply by being in the middle of so much as a result
of my efforts to do one small thing, and in good will. I had all the
peices, but it wasn't until somebody took the time to hear me out. And
that was Petro.

If you doubt the presence of this result from twenty two years ago, then
take a good look around at the symptoms. This wasn't the way the Amiga
community was when it began and evolved up to a point. And it will never
be that way again. The Amiga was much closer to being on course when it
came out, then the rest of the industry was at the time. Today there seems
to be a pull towards what is and has been off course.

It's sorta like car manufacturing, the US made autos were great up until
Japan began to out do us. In the US effort to deal with this, many
manufactures tried to retro-fit but this proved to be to expensive.
Building a new factory helped but it still wasn't quite doing it. Then
Saturn came along and approached it in a whole new way. Part of the
problem was the mentality of the workers being geared from experience, but
this is what Saturn focused on. New employees and training in a new
mindset.

Sure the Amiga hasn't had much in the way of upgrade in the past few years
but in this time such technology from third parties has helped fill the
gap. However, other technology is speeding along so fast that what is
needed now is a new mindset. The Amiga came out as a leader in many ways
but now most of what people want in the Amiga is in essence an act of
following the other guy in speed or other such existing comparision. And
all this while ignoring the facets of the Amiga still ahead of the other
guy, so to develop them.

I deal with PTSD, maybe I'll not be able to recover. Perhaps there is a
parallel in the way of recovery abilities of the current computer personel.
But on the positive side of this, there are new generations comming up and
with clean new minds and open to new ideas.

Just over a year ago I got my internet account and started applying the
honesty of wide scope accountability. I've ticked off some, I've scared
some, I've supprised some with my perception of what's going to happen
next. I've gotten some to change their perspectives and even inspired and
motivated some into taking action to move forward. But in all of this I
still feel that there is something hanging on like a ball and chain.

I'm an end user that recognizes there are alot of good ideas in this
community but it seems that few have the ability to break free from the
obsolete mindset enough to realize there is a way for everyone to have
their system the way they want and without sacrifice. And all of this is
possible by doing some simple things in the way of packaging and
connectivity. Leaving open the door for upgrades regardless of who they
come from and when (very much supporting the third party hardware
developers that have been helping to fill the gap in the Amigas past lack
of development). The developers have always been there, both hardware and
software. Even the system continued to be manufactured and sold throughout
two bankruptcies. All of this is really very remarkable. To have such a
level of development continuing on a system through such adversity....

Damn people, I believe there is something of a call for a standing
ovation.

It's not really about what A.I. is going to create next but a matter of
recognizing these resources already in place and developing such a
structure of organization to improve the level and speed of what the
community is doing to evolve the Amiga. Once this is done, and it may
already be, then A.I. will be in a much better position to know what to
do next in a team work effort with the community of developers and users.

As it stands now, its really rather obivious that no matter what is done,
the mode of error in the user community will roll on. Somehow I believe
that A.I. is doing things to move the Amiga forward in positive and
productive ways but away from the negitivity. Isolated for good reason.

Maybe alot has come from me, but to be quite honest, I really don't have
any concerns about hardware upgrades because these are going to "continue"
to happen and it's only going to improve as A.I. get settled and geared
up.

What has been said by A.I. may not seem like much now but it does
present a bigger picture consistant with what is evolving in the industry.

In the early evolution of an idea, you only have a general picture, as you
collect information and develop the idea, more and more of the details
evolve. The community here on the internet, believe it or not, is only a
part of all the applications the Amiga is going to be used in. Take a look
at the press releases and official statements already made. Would the
community here be interesting in hearing about how the Amiga is being used
in this or that dedicated way? Or even better, are those whom are working
to use the Amiga in this or that dedicated way be interested in telling
this community about it?

- Friction from another direction -

I deal with PTSD and what this means is that I have a very difficult time
in developing and maintaining personal relationships and this of course
flows into work relationships. It was just hours ago I felt the effects of
it. And I'll tell you it's no fun. It's where one part of the brain fires
off so quick that another part of the brain, the cortex (the reasoning
center which works slower) gets swamped by the effects and generally
disabled. I have no control over this. I've not only been hit by PTSD once
25 years ago, due a self inflicted fatal 22 gunshot wound of my best
friend, but a second time 14 years ago (I may have previously written 15
years but it was 1983) that has lasted as an aggravation and heightening of
this disorder by those who either didn't understand what I was dealing with
or knew and intentionally played off it. I don't know, but PTSD is often
misdiagnosed.

A missing person case, the police (legal system) caught between a rock and
hard place, and a girl I cared a great deal about. On a scale of 1 to 10
of those I cared about, there were a few hitting 7, but this girl, she was
off the scale. Perhaps it was due the difficulty of the real conditions in
which she was growing up, but being in the spotlight of acting and
modeling where so much is hidden from the public. Her mother and agent
was years later spotlighted by Life magazine and ABC's "20/20" as one of
America's most successful child-modeling agents, but I know, didn't live
the expected lifestyle one would think.

This idea of fame and fortune that is preceived by the general public
regarding celebrity status, expecially of those in the entertainment
industry, can often be an illusion.

There was a celebrity I grew up with, one many of us grew up with as a
part of the family. The kind of celebrity even the legends can be
reluctant to work with, due the ease of being upstaged by this type of
celebrity. Only here this celebrity was a real part of the family, not
immediate family but not distant either. I was isolated from all the
illusions of fame and fortune, but instead heard a bit of real life
difficulties here and there over all the years.

The missing person case, well there is alot more to it than I'll mention
here but there is something needing to be said. A year or so before the
explosion of her disappearance, a trip was planned to go out to
Califorina, Hollywood. This talent agent, her daughter, and a group of
kids and young adults went to try and make some headway in the business.
This talent agent was concerned about various things, one of which was a
strike had begun in the industry  and in this moment I gave her the phone
number of my relative working in that industry.

While they where gone, I had been given a key to the office and what was
also something of a temporary home for this agent and her daughter. While
they where gone, I took it on myself to orgainize what seemd to be an
impossible mountain of paperwork. Sorting and placing files and other
things in a workable order. During the previous difficulties and moves,
much had become quite a mess and I really wanted to see things get better
for both of them.

When they had returned from Califorina, I heard enough to know it was
difficult out there. I'd asked this Agent if she'd used the number I'd
given her but she responded that she had forgotten about it. Today I
wonder, because I been receiving mysterious phone calls from the day this
girl vanished, near fifteen years ago. I understood she was spending the
Fourth of July under 72-hour psychological observation. Two days later she
vanished.

Perhaps if I'd only known sooner what I was suffering from, but when I
was hit by PTSD the first time, it was never recognized and therefor
never properly addressed.

I cannot help but see that maybe there is that part of the Amiga
community and the industry in general suffering from an explosion that
happened 22 years ago. There was another man who died from a heart attack
in his official help efforts to get to the 1996 Olympic Park explosion.

How many more before the problem is corrected? And where does correction
start? The concepts are there, on my web pages, that can help assist this
correction to quickly evolve.

That empty chair, marked reserve at the AAi meeting, as far as I'm
concerned is for the spectrum of what should have been and can still
evolve.

There is a brick marked "3 S.E.A.S" in the Olympic Park that I see as the
counterpoint to the explosion that happened 22 years ago in the computer
industry. It stands for what everyone knows, regardless of any proof or
lack of.

Originally "3 S.E.A.S" stood for "Success Education Arts'" and the logo
design was such that the artwork made up a big "Q" where the last "s" was
the toung of the "Q" and this stood for "Quality of Life". I'd created
this sometime in the mid to late seventies and always thought I might use
it some day.

Lamar Morgan (president of AAi) has been trying with his persistance to
get a permanent home for AAi. A place where things can be left, rather
than pack up, moved to and from the Libarary where general AAi meetings
are held. For those who know Lamar, he is one to cause alot of "first" to
happen. I've seen him in action and what he does is to find things that
have seemingly no relationship and find a commonality amoung them, to bring
them together in accomplishing something good. And Lamar has good ideas,
in which the big picture here is to obtain the building space and contents
which will be a multi-media learning center, financed thru the sponsorships
of corporate donations. Of course the platform of choice is the Amiga, a
system that really has a needed for having a place where people can learn
about the Amiga and how to productively use it. Funny, but in Petro and
I, our unplanned detour to the AAi meeting, we drove by the building Lamar
has an eye on.

Over the years I've consider how "3 S.E.A.S" could stand for many things
using such a combination of words as: Success, Science, Software,
Survival, Education, Entertainment, Electronic(s), Engineering, Arts, Act,
Architecture, Attitude(s), etc..

Not long after I'd moved to Atlanta, part of the filming of "Back to the
Future" was taking place in Georgia. You know the shopping mall parking
lot scene where alot of things came together causing the trun of events.
It looked as though I might get a chance to visit a relative I either had
never met or was to young to remember meeting. But Rudd Weatherwax, the
owner and trainer of Lassie, passed away. Robert, the animal trainer on
the set, Rudds son and my half uncle in-law, of course, went back to
Califorina. We have never made a connection.

I've been told this mother and talent agent I knew, Linda Curtis, passed
away some time ago from evolving complication of chronic diabetes. Though
I made several efforts to see her during her last year, driving thousands
of miles for no other reason, she refused to see me. But I really don't if
she has passed on. We never made this last connection.

The missing person case, well it's still an open case and though I've been
told that unless something happens, it'll stay away from public access for
a period of fifty years after the last remaining involved party has passed
on. But I still receive a mysterious call ever now and then. And I know
there is 4 to 5 inches of my written efforts, of over a decade, to resolve
this situation. Information I believe could be used to help improve the
the level of research and understanding about PTSD. I don't know if the
case will ever be closed in my lifetime, or even if it is, whether or not
it'll make any difference for me. I don't even know if I still care about
this girl.

Though I had given Linda a phone number and said to her what I did, I never
made the call to my half aunt. I never made a connection that might have
made a difference.

Perhaps the Amiga community as well as the rest of the industry can start
making the connection, for correction needed in the industry, with the
transportation I've provided here.

Maybe "3 S.E.A.S" should stand for the sea of honesty, the sea of
dishonesty, and most important the sea of honesty about dishonesty and
it's counter point, misunderstanding. A man made stone placed in a seas of
bricks for many to walk accross, stand upon and read.

Rrrriiinng.... Hello.... hello... is anybody there? Is anybody listening?

-------------

* It is 12:57 a.m. the 11th of June, as I finish this posting set. This
fourth part may be revised as I integrate more. This work is copyrighted
1997 by myself - Timothy Rue. But only so that no alteration be done. You
may copy it but only in it's complete context or with notice that it is
only a part of larger work. ***

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
   Timothy Rue                             Email: timrue@mindspring.com
   http://www.mindspring.com/~timrue/
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Email: timrue@mindspring.com

Copyright © 1975, 1988, 1994, 1996, 1997 Timothy V. Rue